Always see “real women” posts so here’s one for the dudes.
this says so much. I wish there were more posts like this. please.
body positivity and realistic body standards are important for guys too!
Men are constantly reassured that it’s okay to oogle women and harrass them about their looks. Women rarely see sexualized images of men that are made for women.
Guys get eye candy everywhere they go. Their sexual gaze is constantly catered to. Women, at least hetero women, are rarely given the opportunity to have their sexual interest entertained. We’re told that we should be okay with having nothing to look at. That our fantasies don’t matter. That we shouldn’t ever even remotely expect to be able to eyeball a svelte man in public, only behind closed doors and heaven forbid that the man look vulnerable. So we finally get to see images that turn us on and people are like, “Hey, you can’t put that in magazines! that might hurt some little boy’s feelings!”
Men are given alternative physical images to aspire to. Women are not.
While yes, guys should be treated to body positivity too… they already are. Just watch TV or any comedy and count the number of pudgy, out of shape, male leads vs pudgy, out of shape female leads. Or the number of hairy, overweight, older men making block buster movies vs the number of hairy, overweight, older women. Now count how many times that male character has some incredibly smart, sexy wife who does everything for him. And then how many times she’s the butt of the joke when he gets hot for some woman who’s younger and thinner than she is.
Fuck, just look at the responses to women not shaving their legs vs the responses to guys not shaving off their stubble.
Name six movies about a woman above the age of forty who’s love interest is a man that’s younger than she is where the plot doesn’t revolve around her being the butt of a cougar or mom joke. Now name me six where a man over the age of forty’s love interest is a woman who’s significantly younger than he is. Bonus points for action movies where anyone in the movie makes a mention of the age difference.
How many times are male politician or CEO’s body or style of dress put into question? How many times are female’s? Or has everyone forgotten how we flip out when the president’s wife gets a new hair cut? Or how Hillary Clinton had to have a FUCKING MAKE OVER before the news agencies took her seriously? How many times was her daughter raked over the coals for looking like an average teenager?
What’s more, I’ve never heard any of my female friends or my mother and her female friends saying, “Why can’t my 50 year old husband get a six pack like that?” What I USUALLY here is “I wish my husband would get a nice hair cut.” or “I wish he’d wear some nicer clothes that actually fit him.”
But what i hear overhear men saying all time is, “No fat chicks!” or “I wish my wife had bigger boobs.”
I know a woman who’s husband threatened to leave her if she didn’t get a face lift and a boob job- she was so upset that she did it. She felt disgusting every day because she wasn’t a size six and he expected her to be a size six after bearing him four kids. My own uncle said if his wife got overweight that he’d drag her behind a car until she lost weight. These aren’t even “bad guys”! They seem like perfectly nice men when you meet them! But they’re taught from the moment they’re kids that all women need to be a certain body type to be worthy of any attention.
Men are told through our culture’s stories and media that a woman will still love them unconditionally and throw themselves at them if they’re fat, old, balding, or an asshole, while women are told that if they’re pushy, fat, old or wearing out of style clothes that they aren’t even worth mentioning.
I was just going to bold the good parts , so I bolded the whole thing lol.
A man can be a derange, fat, narcissistic, corrupt, immoral, balding, fugly criminal and still be famous, successful, idolized and “get the girl” and a “trophy wife”. Women and girls have to walk on eggshells their whole lives and torture their bodies for “perfection”, be silent, submissive, sexy, smile, giggle, breed heirs, be virtuous, über-feminine, the “perfect wife and mother”, dumb themselves down, never get angry and just be a masochistic doll. And throw some racialized misogyny, colorism and orientalist fetishes in there for “added flavor”.
Oh my god people are you serious? Yes, woman are sexualities, but so are men. Come to fucking Vegas, you’ll see just as much of half naked men as you do the half naked women. But just because girls get it more means that guys can’t feel insecure or feel sexualized or feel like they have a standard they have to live up to? In this society, men are seen as ugly pigs if they don’t lift weights or have a six pack or aren’t movie star gorgeous, just. Like. Women. Men are pressured to live up to standards to, or else risk being called a “fag”, “gay”, a “pussy” and so on. Yeah, women are sexualized and are forced to live up to a standard, but so are men. So stop pretending this isn’t a problem for everyone.
A man can be a derange, fat, narcissistic, corrupt, immoral, balding, fugly criminal and still be famous, successful, idolized and “get the girl” and a “trophy wife”. <—- lol gurl where are you living. Men have to live up to beauty standards as much as women, just see the fashion industry and tell me any male model is “fat, balding, fugly”, and if regular joes don’t give a fuck it’s because they choose to, and if they manage to get married it’s because clearly they were better inside than outside. And if some beautiful woman marries an old dude people will always assume it’s for money, not for anything else, because if you’re some poor sod working two jobs to make ends meet you won’t get any fucking girl or any fucking trophy wife. You might get love, but that’s beyond the point I’m trying to make.
Just like you can choose to not give a fuck about being “silent, submissive, sexy, über-feminine” and so on and so forth. Where the fuck do you live? Are you seriously telling me that in the place where you live there aren’t happy women of all races, body shapes, with all different kinds of clothes and levels of make-up who don’t give a shit about what “society” wants? Seriously, the level of faux feminist bullshit in your comment is cringe-worthy, the-uncensored-she.
You people always like to play the victim, don’t you? That’s why more and more people don’t wanna label themselves as feminists. Because of people like you. This was a body positive post for GUYS to feel a bit better and to remind themselves that pressures from people aren’t important, and you turned it to be about your “woe me” circlejerking. Pathetic.
"you people" "pathetic" Seriously?! This is a good message to send for body positivity for men, the "average joe". Even if us feminists, which you decided to label as "you people", decide to make a point about feminism in this post about males, what the fuck is wrong with that?! But rest assured, there was a point to be made that MALE BODY POSITIVITY is seen elsewhere and not just in underwear advertisements, unlike FEMALE BODY POSITIVITY. Women are victims in every aspect of their lives. It is a constant battle to be a woman in a male driven society and you have proven that point perfectly.